After 20 years of marriage, Assad Saif shares his keys to a successful marriage. Just like plants that require light, water, and nutrients, he explains that a strong relationship requires a few different things to thrive. He calls those the secret ingredients.
The Three Key Necessities
In his explanation, he shared that “after 20 years of being married to my amazing wife, learned lessons, healed wounds, four degrees, thousands of hours counseling others and continued relational engagement in my own marriage… I feel like I can share some secrets for a lasting marriage.” Throughout that time, he has found three keys to a successful relationship: 1. Physical Intimacy 2. Intelectual Intimacy 3. Emotional Intimacy
Physical Intimacy
According to Saif, physical intimacy isn’t just about the act of being physically close. It also requires an emotional connection in those touches. Those intimate encounters of marriage only remain important as long as the couple keeps talking about their emotions and physical needs.
Intellectual Intimacy
In this, Saif means communication. Of course, talking is important in a long relationship. But, according to research, 70% to 90% of communication is non-verbal, meaning that we say a lot more with our bodies and faces than we do with our actual words. That’s why “communication needs to be addressed if the couple is going to find a place for health and vitality.”
Emotional Intimacy
When it comes to emotional intimacy, Saif refers to the trust that is built between a couple. “You can’t have a genuine relationship if trust isn’t present,” he explains. Keep in mind, though, that trust is earned and can, therefore, just as easily be broken. To him, being trustworthy entails keeping your word, being consistent, communicating clearly, being honest, and admitting mistakes.
Ensuring that your committed relationship is full of all three of these intimacies takes work and effort from both partners. But, it’s all worth it when you find the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. As Saif concludes, “These three ingredients are the secrets for a lasting marriage and things you can work on regularly in your marriage.”