How to Recognize and Handle a “Right Person, Wrong Time” Situation

Many people have been in a position where they’ve met the right person at the wrong time. Sometimes, the chemistry is there. Still, for one reason or another, things don’t work. In this article, we will go through the signs of wrong timing and how to handle it.

Can the Right Person Come at the Wrong Time?

Is there a possibility of meeting your soulmate at the wrong time? Tara Lally, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist in the Department of Psychiatry & Behavioral Health at the Hackensack School of Medicine, says that it is indeed likely to happen, but often a career or family gets in the way. Some therapists, however, believe that if the person is truly the right one, there’s no such thing as “wrong” timing. If two people are meant to be, they will find a way to make things work, even when it’s hard.

Signs of Meeting the Right Person at the Wrong Time

Here are some common signs that you’ve met the right person at the wrong time:

One of you is experiencing changes or challenges.
Meeting someone going through hard times can make the relationship challenging. It can be the passing of a loved one or the stress of relocating to a new place. That doesn’t mean the romance can’t still blossom in the future, but it can definitely feel like a “right person, wrong time” situation.

One of you isn’t emotionally ready.
Sometimes, one person just isn’t emotionally ready to be in a relationship. They will get distracted by their own life situations and fail to be mentally there with you. This means they won’t be able to communicate openly, which never leads to a mature relationship.

You’re not equally committed to the relationship
If your partner is not as committed to the relationship as you are, then they’re clearly not ready for a long-term relationship. Whether it’s personal matters like education or health, or the person is simply uninterested, these are all signs that they might be enjoying the solo life more.

You don’t know what you really want
Sometimes, you may be the one who isn’t ready to fully commit or doesn’t know exactly what you want. This means it’s simply not the right time, and it might be better to move on with your lives.

Time management doesn’t work
In some cases, you meet a great match, but your schedules are so busy that you barely have time for each other or there’s a geographical distance between you. Either way, things may not work out between you if can’t see your partner on a regular basis.

One of you just got out of a relationship.
If you or the other person have recently gotten out of a relationship and are still thinking about it, you both might need a break from dating.

How to Handle a “Right Person, Wrong Time” Situation?

Michele Leno, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist in Michigan and the owner of DML Psychological Services, suggests giving yourself a few options to handle such situations:

Go for it.
You can still try to make things work by communicating openly with your partner and setting realistic boundaries and expectations. The circumstances may not be perfect, but you can still be happy and go through the challenges together. If you think you can do that, then it’s worth the shot.

Hold off on dating until you both feel it’s the “right” time.
Focus on your personal growth and development before going into a relationship. This is a good option if you both have feelings but need some time to figure things out on your own.

Move on.
Sometimes, things just aren’t meant to be. Learn from the experience and discover new opportunities for happiness. You can even try seeking professional help or support from your family and friends if you’re going through a difficult breakup or other problems.